Ski Break: The Pony Saga

Click to enlarge photos if you want. (cough, mom)

"A pony! Take a picture of me with the pony!  I want a picture of me with the pony!"

"Haha pony tried to bite me."

"Fucking a, pony slobbered all over me!"

"It is an evil pony.  It should remember Europeans eat horse."

"I don't like ponies."

The End. 

Lillehammer

This weekend, Maria, Yngve and I went on a three day trip to Lillehammer which is a little over 2 hours by train North of Oslo.  We were lucky enough to be able to stay with Yngve's cousin, Rita and her family and we spent the first two days downhill skiing and the last day around town.  I'm tired right now so I will just post some pictures and give you some highlights in list form, but you should know we had an amazing time.  

1.  Lillehammer is a really cute, very cold and beautiful town. 

2.  Maria went downhill skiing for the first time and I improved dramatically while Yngve was doing backflips off ledges. 

 

3.  In the ski lodge if you want ketchup or mustard for your fries or burgers you have to milk it out of a bladder.  I kid you not.  I can think of a many different, better ways to dispense condiments many of which are utilized back home, yet Norwegians prefer to milk it out of a phallic ketchup filled utter. (see below)

4.  1/2 English Mastiff/ 1/2 Rhodesian Ridegeback dogs are awesome. (also below)

5.  We were treated to a really great Brazilian food buffet dinner and the waitress explained that we can help ourselves to the appetizers and desserts and they would bring the meat out and if we wanted to pause the meat from coming we should flip this metal coin thing on our table to red.  I looked at Yngve and said "Why would you ever stop them from bringing food to you?"  I lived to regret those words because as course after course came out and we were all too proud to pause it and wound up top button-undone, writhing in pain, trying not to laugh or breathe deeply.  I can honestly say I have never been so full in my life and that we didn't walk home, we waddled.  Yngve's cousin Tommy later said he has never made it through all the meat courses.  No one needs to see pictures of this. 

6.  The athlete holding the torch design from when the winter Olympics was there, is everywhere..even the trees.

7.  It's really easy to trip someone when they are wearing ski boots.  (Sorry Yngve....but not very)  Sadly, no pictures of this...landscapes instead. 

 

7.  Maria's snow gear consists of a waterproof army green Russian pilot suit.  When we first saw her in it we sang, "Flying into the danger zone...." and Yngve lent her his helmet which when it wasn't on her head she carried it at her side between her hip and arm like a true pilot.  When she plowed into Yngve while skiing we affectionately called her our little kamakaze. 

That's all for now.....ha det! 

Foreigners Go Skiing

Finally, I feel like I have something mildly entertaining to blog about.  The first couple weeks in Oslo have not been particularly exciting...mainly I am just on campus during the day and then at the gym and then home.  Maria and my New Year's resolutions are to work out and eat healthy so that of course, we are more healthy and to combat the imminent weight gain from Spanish fried food coming up in March.  We have taken on gym exercises, floorball (which we have yet to attend), and we tried...ahem boxing class for a week.  It's funny we joined boxing thinking it would be a fun workout and then after seeing a girl getting pummeled in the face by a guy during the second class we thought...maybe this isn't for us.  So today we woke up and saw how beautiful of a day it was and knew there was no other option.  We went skiing.
Maria, Yngve and I decided to go out skiing just a little bit back behind our housing.  Yngve had a plan to do a 10k ski session, but it was Maria's first time skiing and my 3rd and within about 2 min of skiing we all realized that was not happening.  Surprisingly, I was much more comfortable on the skies this time around which was encouraging.  Maria did great for her first time, but there were a few rough patches along the way.  It was actually really mean, because about 5 min after her trying it out we had a hill to go down.  For those of you back home that don't cross country ski, it is very hard to go downhill on cross country skiies because your heel is not attached to the ski.  We were a bit nervous about the hill and it was particularly frustrating because little toddlers were going by us as if they have been doing this for years (they probably have).  You should know Norwegians really are born with skies on their feet.  The mothers go skiing by pulling a ski stroller with a baby inside and then when the kids are old enough to walk parents put skies on them and ski with them between their legs.
After we waited about five minutes for all the elderly and young children to clear the way I went down first and I hear behind me "Wahhhhhhhhhh" I couldn't see her but apparently she took a beating and fell a couple of times on the way down.  She's tough though and took it like a pro.   Things went smoother even as we were beginning to realize just how much of a workout it really is.  One of my favorite moments is when we faced yet another hill.  We let Maria go first, which in hindsight was an awful idea because the path was narrow and almost at the bottom, she stacked and was laid out on the path.  Of course, I was following behind her, saw her fall and thought "Oh shit" as I attempted with all of my might to stop in time but it was hopeless..right as I was flying towards her I dove into the thicker snow on the edge of the path.  Yngve on the other hand, had seen this coming and gave us more space.  I wish I could have seen what he saw because it was such a moment from the movies where two clowns collide into each other.  I also wish we had the camera out at that point because the pictures of us laughing there must have been priceless.  So he effortlessly skied down to us and we glared at him.
When we took a break and drank some hot cocoa Maria unwittingly stepped into a heap of horse poo.  It took a little bit for us to realize it and we were like "ah what's that smell?" We look over to see tracks of horse poo ALL around her.  She screams and says "oh, I hope I don't have any on me" and as she gets up we see poo all over her shoe and a little on her pants.  At this point we are dying laughing as she was hopping around, stomping her foot in the snow trying desperately to get it off of her.  Good times.
So we continued on...and definitely improved along the way.  I gave Yngve the camera (see Facebook for the photo album) and he gleefully would go to the bottom of hills preparing to take pictures of us eating it.  Much to our satisfaction we did pretty well...the only glitch was Maria had a problem stopping. I would ski to Yngve and she would keep on going, WAHHHHHs and all down off the track.  It was pretty hilarious.  By the end of the day there were several falls, many WAHHHs (not just from Maria), definite improvement and we had really great time.  Maria and I both agree that this is an excellent and fun way for us to get some exercise, though in the future I think we can all agree that Yngve should go first down hills.

"You tricked me!"

Now that I have finished finals and almost completely defeated the Norwegian plague I have been harboring for the last week...I feel like I should put a somewhat amusing post up.  Ill try.  So I'm going to tell you the story of a recent event in Norway that made me laugh so hard I cried.  It involves a Viking, a mischievous redhead and a room full of witnesses.  So it begins...
The weekend before finals I went out to get a couple drinks with Libby, Yngve and a new character Vebjørn.  To say Vebjørn is a big guy is a bit of an understatement, he weightlifts with Yngve and is expected to make the Olympics in London 2012.  Not only is he tall, but lets just say would want him on your side if you were ever in a bar fight.  We decide on a mellow bar and all have to show our IDs. You have to be 23 to get in but Libby charmed her way in as she is 21 and Vebjørn who is only 20 looked down at the bouncer and said "Do I need to show my ID?"  The bouncer quickly shook his head no and let him in.  Funny thing is Vebjørn is more like a big jolly teddy bear than some intimidating guy...but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Anyways when we sat down Libby and I were looking at all the mixed drinks and commenting on them.  I said "Ooooh look they have one called the San Francisco!" and Libby says "Ooooh they have Cosmos!" This is quickly forgotten as the night goes on until Vebjørn comes back to the table and says, "You tricked me!"  We look up to see this giant man sitting there holding a giant fluorescent pink Cosmopolitan which looks like a cutsy little Barbie glass in his hands and he explains glumly "You said they were good."  After about 5 minutes of laughter at the sight of it Libby asked him, "Havent you ever seen Sex in the City?"  He tells her no and explains that he for some reason (which is still unclear to me) he thought it was a manly drink.  So he went up to the bar and ordered a Cosmopolitan.  The bartender looked and him and asked confused, "You want a Cosmopolitan?" and Vebjørn thinking it was a manly drink looked at the female bartender, nodded emphatically and said, "Oh yeah!"  He then explained the shock that came over him when he was given the girliest drink he could have possibly ordered and then had to walk through the bar with it while he claims everyone was staring.  Now, I know people at home are probably thinking, "oh they probably just assumed it is for his girlfriend"  No dice.  This is Norway the land of equality where woman get offended if I guy buys them a drink.  So he had to sit there holding this dainty triangular glass with bright pink liquid uncomfortably sipping out of it with one pinky up because all his fingers wouldnt fit on the glass, until I showed him mercy and switched my rum and coke with it.  So, now when he comes over and drinks he brings what he refers to as "Viking blood" and is a dark blackish drink he pounds as a shot.  Compensation.  But everytime he tries to act all manly Viking we are right there to remind him, "Hey Vebjørn, want a Cosmo?" Priceless.  

Stick a Fork in Me...I'm Done!

Sick as I am, I'm done with finals!  Now home for the holidays so I can infect everyone in California and on my planes with this Norwegian hybrid of flu and whooping cough.  Enjoy!  Though if it is truly a Norwegian strain then it will probably be killed off in the heat of the homeland, so there's hope for you yet Californians!

Happy Birthday to Me

My birthday party.  The look on my face when they all yelled surprise must have been priceless.  ;)

 You can see Glenn, my supervisor in the front preparing to toast my special day.

Happy birthday girl...

Look How Norwegian I Am

 Reindeer in brown cheese sauce, mashed potatoes and lingonberry jam.  Tastes better than it looks.  I had to take a picture of Yngve's because by the time I realized I wanted to take a picture, I had eaten too much of mine to be able to make it look pretty. 

 Norwegians invented these cheese slicers.  They are very proud of it.

Yngve was very happy.