Yeah, yeah, yeah, after many people hounding me (you know who you are) to actually write a blog rather than haphazardly slapping some pictures together, I ever so kindly caved and decided to please the masses. My excuse has been that I haven’t been doing anything interesting since I had been spending my days in the lab, but recently a friend informed me that the beauty of my blog is that I take relatively insignificant things and make them entertaining, the example being how Norwegians walk in the snow. Point taken, and now that I am sitting in a café in Lisbon I have officially scraped the bottom of my bucket full of excuses. It’s ok though, because the better I am about writing on this, the more wrong Jiro was about how long I would last….and that makes me happy.
So, I left early this morning for Portugal with my research partners Maria and My while the rest of our group took later planes. I sat by My on the first flight to Frankfurt and warned her before we took off that I am really bad company on airplanes because something about the sound or feeling of the engine is like a lullaby to me and puts me straight to sleep. I’m pretty sure at this point she was worried about having to spend 5 weeks with this crazy American, but I told her a story about a friend who when she was a baby her mom would vacuum to put her to sleep so she would know I am not alone in this sort of thing. I’m not sure it helped my cause, but I felt validated. I also told her she might be in the clear because I was stuck in the center and let’s face it, anyone who can sleep well in the middle seat (aka bitch) deserves a ribbon. Well, it turns out I am a ribbon contender because as the plane was rolling onto the runway I went out like a light. The only thing that woke me was the flight attendant to give me a sandwich and a drink. It is usually a dangerous thing waking me up but if you come bearing food you are typically in the clear. I thought to myself about how there on Lufthansa for a 1 and a half hour flight they give you sandwiches and a drink but if it were on an American airline they would wake me up and say “Would you like a drink?” I would say “yes” and they would reply, “That’ll be $3” and then my bleary eyed self would glare and say “Nevermind.”
For the second flight, I yet again got stuck in the center (I suspect sabotage) between My and Maria. I told Maria the drill, which she was already well aware of, “When they come with food, take the food for me and put it on my tray but DO NOT wake me up. I woke up an hour later to Maria crying out, “Nooo!” as My had reached out to shake me because the food was coming. I had to laugh at the desperation in Maria’s cry. Turns out it was for the best because Lufthansa for a 2 hour flight gives you actually decent pasta, a mini-Toblerone bar, and mini-water bottle and bread. I reflected back to the U.S. and thought…what would they feed me for a 2 hour flight? NOTHING. Even on a 6 hour flight in the U.S. you are lucky if no one is allergic and you get peanuts, otherwise everyone loses and you get unsalted almonds. If I ruled the world that wouldn’t be allowed, and I think to mix things up a bit, the people stuck in the center seats should get better food as compensation. Then people would actually have to think a little when considering if they want aisle, window OR center seats. Genius. Also, there would be a law that if the width of your rear is wider than the width of the aisle you are not allowed to be a flight attendant. It is not discrimination if it just works out better for everyone. Oh yes, and on a side note, if I ran the world there would be no Norwegian “chicken tacos” or caviar in a tube. Thus, sitting here in the café, I can come to two conclusions about the day. 1) I deserve a ribbon for supreme sleeping skills and 2) I should rule the world.
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